Dear moms,
You are enough.
That’s right. I said it. You. Are. Enough. Someone has to tell you, and that someone might as well be a fellow mom who needs to hear it sometimes, too. You could say I am a work-in-progress, but aren’t we all?
For years I have plugged away at this motherhood business, making sure my children are healthy, active, well-fed, well-read, kind and respectful. But something in the back of my mind often speaks up and says, “It’s not enough. It’s never enough.” Then I begin to question myself. Am I feeding them the right foods? Am I making them get outside enough? Maybe I should start a food and exercise schedule for them. Are they involved in enough extra-curricular activities? Are they involved in too many? Do they read enough? Are they smart enough? Are their grades good enough? What if they can’t get into the college they want to?
Sound familiar moms? That list could go on and on, right? Then, you start questioning yourself as a person, not just as a mom. Am I healthy enough? I should work out more. When do I find the time? Do my insecurities show? Are my children building a strong self-esteem? Am I fostering it or hindering it?
And the cycle goes on and on. If. You. Let. It. So don’t let it. Just stop. Please, stop.
You are enough. You have what it takes. And your children are going to be just fine.
Chances are, if your children don’t eat a huge variety of foods, they will when they get older because YOU showed them how. If they don’t love getting outside to play, they’ll find another way to be active, because YOU showed them how. YOU are the one they look to for the answers. YOU are all they need. YOU are their everything.
Ok, so you’re not sure you’re making the right choices. Well, WHO IS? We’re all just stumbling along together in this thing called motherhood. We’re all just doing the best we can and it’s not always pretty. In fact, it’s probably more ugly than pretty. But there is so much beauty in the ugly. You just have to trust in it.
And don’t let social media fog your vision. That mom who posted the picture of the perfect breakfast? Immediately after she posted it, her kid threw a fit and refused to eat it. The mom who repeatedly posts pictures of her beautiful, flawless family always on an amazing adventure? She hides in the bathroom just for some “me” time. Remember the photo of the impeccable party your neighbor hosted? She slaved for weeks planning that party with all the fancy dishes and extensive activities, but the biggest hits were the burgers and dogs on the grill and the impromptu nature hike the kids planned.
Simplicity. It’s a necessity. And we all need to start embracing it. When we begin to overthink even the small things, doubt and feelings of inferiority creep in, and we don’t deserve that.
We don’t deserve to question every move we make. We don’t deserve to doubt our choices, choices that are made with our children’s best interests in mind in the first place because they are OUR children! We know them! We created them, for crying out loud! Our maternal instincts will NOT lead us in the wrong direction. Yet we question them anyway. Well, that’s got to stop.
Moms. Your children are thriving. Just look at them. They’re fine. They’re happy and content. Your choices are working out. Usually, the simpler ones, the better. And when those choices don’t work out, you’ll know, or your kids will tell you (in one way or another). So, please stop doubting yourselves. No one’s perfect. But that’s just it. No one is perfect, including your children, and they need to learn that from you. If you create an unrealistic image of yourself for them, they will try to live up to that unrealistic image, too. They need to know you are human. You are imperfect. You have flaws. You can’t do it all. But you can do enough. You are enough.
You. Are. Enough.
I Promise.
P.S. Don’t forget to take some time for yourself. And by time, I don’t just mean 5 seconds in a corner cramming chocolate in your mouth while fearing being caught by a child. I mean real time. A day at the spa. A long walk on the beach. Reading an entire magazine on the deck without being interrupted because you sent the children with their dad for a few hours. Take some real “me” time. It’s a gift to yourself and your family. You’ll be refreshed for them and they’ll learn an important life lesson about taking care of themselves.
Oh, and one more thing. Get on the other side of the camera once in a while. Your children don’t care how you look that day. They love you just the way you are. They just want to see your gorgeous face in all the memories.
Cheers!
